The Jaffa's Revenge
by Charles Lamont
Summary: O'Neill learns not to mess with a former first prime.
1. The Jaffa's Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate or any of the characters. They belong to MGM.

I wish I did though.

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"I'm sorry that prank got out of hand." Jack told Teal'c as they walked down the hall, "No hard feelings?"

"None at all, O'Neill." The Jaffa replied. "Good night". He headed toward his private room.

"Good night." Jack entered his room, as he considered the mischievous glint in the Jaffa's eye.

The next morning Jack walked into the commissary. Realizing people were avoiding looking at him, he walked over to his usual table, "Hey guys, what's up around here?" he asked Daniel and Sam. Daniel avoided Jack's comment and looked past him at the wall.

"Uh, sir," Jack looked at Sam, "have you by chance looked in a mirror this morning?"

"No, I was hungry. What are you talking about?"

"Nothing sir" Sam quickly looked down at her food with a smirk on her face.

Feeling uncomfortable, Jack stood up and went back to his room with a mission. He looked in the mirror, pushed the intercom button and shouted, "Teal'c!"

After hearing the General's voice boom out Teal'c's name, Daniel looked over at Sam, "Think Jack will know I was a part of this?"

Sam choked on her food and looked at Daniel with sympathy.

Suddenly Teal'c ran past their table, followed by Jack. Jack stopped and turned to Daniel. "Be afraid, be very afraid." And resumed chasing Teal'c again, leaving the two scientist laughing at the general's cleanly shaven head.


	2. Retaliation, or something like it…

Chapter two: Retaliation, or something like it…

Disclaimer: I don't own the Stargate, SG1, or Elvis. The only thing that is mine is this story…this disclaimer I had to shoot a Jaffa for…

Jack whistled as he walked down the hallway, set on the destination of a certain door. He carried an old Elvis record sleeve. Walter stopped him for a second, trying to not notice the General's cleanly shaven head. "Excuse me sir. What are you planning?" he saw that twinkle in Jack's eye that he got when up to mischief.

"Teal'c wanted me to bring him an Elvis record."

"But Teal'c's room…"

"Ah." Jack held up his finger. "Don't tell me. I don't want to know right now."

They both approached the door. "Sir, Teal'c is in the mess hall."

"Then I'll just slip it under the door." He placed the open side of the record sleeve just under the door. He stepped back and knocked briefly on the door. He then placed his ear against the metal and listened.

"Jack." Daniel startled him for a second.

"What?"

"You said that you wanted to meet us here O'Neill." Teal'c had walked up.

"Sir?" Walter had become quite confused.

"One second!" Jack snapped as he heard movement on the other side. He stepped back and smashed the record sleeve as hard as he could. "Walter, you may want to run." Walter looked around, seeing that the door was opening, then backed up and dashed down the hall, knowing that he did not want to be a part of what just happened.

"Who did this?" Sam stepped through the door from her quarters, covered in a white cream.

"Sorry Carter. I thought this was Teal'c's room, I was getting him back for the shaven head." Jack gave her his charming grin as he lied.

Sam crossed her arms, "Teal'c's room is not on this floor and Teal'c is standing right next to you."

"I knew something was wrong with this picture." Jack started towards the elevator, "By the way, briefing in ten minutes. Sorry, that gives you no time to clean up." He pressed the button on the elevator and started whistling as the door closed.

"Were either of you a part of this?" She asked the remaining archeologist and alien.

"No, Sam we were not." Daniel quickly stated.

"Daniel Jackson is correct. We had not part in this plot involving . . ." He stuck out a finger, wiped is across Sam's sleeve and stuck the white glob in his mouth. " . . . shaving cream." With a raise of his eyebrow, he walked off towards the other elevator to head up to the briefing room.

"I guess this means…" Daniel started.

"Yes Daniel, this means war!" She shouted and went back into her room for a towel.


	3. Briefing

Chapter Three: Briefing

"Uh, Sam, You still have…behind your ear…" Daniel motioned to her.

"Thanks." She moved her napkin and wiped off the shaving cream. "Anymore?"

"No." Teal'c Replied.

"Jack told us ten minutes, but now he's late." Daniel commented. "I wonder why we have a briefing. We're not scheduled for an off world mission."

"I do have something for him." Sam pulled out a bottle. "It's a hair growth serum that the other scientists have been working on. They used some plants from Chulak."

"Are you sure you want to give him his hair back, now that he got you?" Daniel asked her.

"Definitely." She looked up as the General walked in.

"Good Morning. Carter, I see that you have cleaned up quite well." He sat down in his chair and passed them folders. "Siler has told me of you outburst Carter, if this is war, we need rules, and I happen to have some right in my hand"

The three members of SG1 opened the folders and saw only one paper, with one line.

Every man/woman/alien for them selves, use of SGC personal accepted.

Sam looked at her CO. "Is this it?"

"Yep." Jack smirked. "Now I have to go find a hair growth serum." He got up and stared back towards the door.

"Sir!" Sam shouted remembering the serum she had brought. "I have something right here that is guarantied to work. Created by the scientist upstairs, it has even put hair on a hairless rat."

Jack eyed the bottled and decided that it was not a risk. "Thank you Sam." He took it and left.

"So, Sam. What's in the bottle?" Daniel really wanted to know now.

She just gave a coy smile, "You'll see."

--

Jack was in the shower, scrubbing his scalp with the serum that Sam had given him. He felt as hair start to grow. Strangely, it burned slightly. He decided that it was nothing and got out of the shower and dried off. He got dressed and felt his hair continue growing. Finally, he went to the mirror to see if his hair was back to normal. He looked at his reflection and felt his blood pressure rise. "CARTER!"

--

"I believe I hear Jack, amazing since he didn't use the intercom." Daniel commented as Sam looked at him, got up and left the mess hall and headed in the direction of her lab.

It was good timing too, for right after she turned down the hall, Jack came storming in through the other door, hair still damp.

"O'Neill, you hair is…" Teal'c couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Jack, you hair…it's…back." Daniel knew that he should suppress the laugh that was coming up, so he looked down at the table.

"Yes, I know my hair is Purple! She is really going to get it now." He looked around, and saw Walter. "Which way did she go!" he commanded an answer. Walter just stared at him, let out a yelp then ran off. "He seems to be getting a lot of exercise today." Jack looked around and then started off to Sam's lab, knowing that would be where she would go.

--

Thanks for reviewing. Please send me some ideas, as I may run out soon. I don't have a diabolical mind like SG1.


	4. He did what!

Chapter Four: He Did What?

Daniel walked into Wal-Mart at about ten, and saw the person he had talked to earlier. Siler and Walter were in the jeep waiting for him to come out. He had promised them that they would remain anonymous in this. The clerk took him back to the stock and directed him to what Daniel was there for. "Perfect and just the right amount." Daniel made his purchase and the three SGC members loaded the supplies into the back of the jeep and headed back to base. It was a good thing that Jack, Sam and Teal'c were staying there tonight.

They arrived at the base and went into the parking lot to find the three vehicles. "Ready?" Daniel asked. The two air men nodded and they went to work.

--

Jack opened the elevator the next morning and found Sam and Teal'c already there. He eyed them suspiciously. "No joy buzzers, no 'Kick Me' signs." He finally decided that it was safe and got on the elevator. "Where're you two off to this morning?" He asked them seeing that they were both in civvies and Teal'c had his hat on.

"Samantha Carter is taking me to a place called IHOP. She said that she was craving pancakes. Would you like to join us?"

"I was planning on heading home, but I could go for some pancakes." They stepped onto the parking level. "Anybody see Daniel today?"

"He said that he had some translations to do and would probably be up all night." Sam answered.

"Figures. If we weren't here, he would most likely starve himself in that lab of his." They walked over to Teal'c's car, since it was the closest, and found that it was covered in…

"Saran wrap?" Sam looked closer at the clear covering on the car.

"Looks like the stuff used in shipping goods."

"Indeed O'Neill. I do believe that one of you has pulled another prank on me. The question is which one." He narrowed his eyes and examined both of his companions.

"We can take my car, looks like there's three inches of this stuff covering yours Teal'c." They walked over a few lanes and found that Sam's car was in the same state. "Sir, that leaves you and Daniel for who had pulled the prank, and I don't think he would do this…"

"He wouldn't even dare…" Jack stopped in mid sentence, and saw that his Truck was also covered. He walked up and felt the layers.

"I would judge that you have the largest layer of covering, O'Neill." Teal'c looked at the layer.

"About ten inches sir…he must have used a lot of wrap." She looked under the truck. "He even got the underside."

Jack looked at the bed and saw that there was even wrap in the bed. "Daniel we are going to get you for this." He shouted.

"Sir, you may be loud, but I am sure he can't hear you this time. For now, let's take the bus."

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Please Review, and plese send me some ideas for other pranks...Like I said, I don't have a diabolical mind...


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